Sex and Murder Magazine

By John Bray

In my teen-age years I started running through neighbors’ yards furtively peeking through lighted windows in the hopes of getting a glimpse of a girl or woman undressing. It was rare that I got a an eyeful of anything but those moments were so precious; once I actually saw a beautiful girl who forgot to pull the blinds and got undressed for bed with the light on. She took her time, too.

That triggered a lifetime of fantasies, and as time wore on I became more and more driven and less and less able to control my impulses. I risked my luck so often that it was only a matter of time before I got caught; but it took many late night scampers through back yards and over apartment house roof tops with binoculars before my carelessness tripped me up.

One night when I was hiding in a back yard, I saw the blinking red light of a police car coming down the block and in my panic to run away, my pants got hung up on the barbed wire atop a chain link fence. I got arrested for trespass and put on probation, the judge ordered me to see a therapist who called my sickness voyeurism. Repeated sessions with the therapist did nothing to cure my obsession and I pined for the day when I would catch another secret glimpse of a naked female body. After my first arrest, I wasn’t classified as a sex offender yet because I hadn’t touched anyone, but I was getting near the edge of disaster. Some people think that “peeping toms” are harmless and too timid to commit a real sex crime, but I realize now, I had been getting closer and closer to crossing that line.

When I tried to grab a woman in her driveway a few nights after watching her through her window, she screamed for help and the police caught me few blocks away. The cop that arrested me said, “I catch you around here again doing this, I tune you up good, understand?”

That time I did a ninety-day bit in the County jail. I was registered as a sex offender, and I’m still on extended probation. I had to move to a new neighborhood, but I was so driven, I began to creep through backyards again. Some people thought they saw me. I know, because police cars often arrived soon after they yelled into the dark, but I always managed to disappear before they found me.

Then I saw her. I had been hanging around a fenced-in yard, waiting for the back bedroom light to go on, when a woman, whose age I guessed to be around fifty, came into the room and snapped on the lights. She had left her Venetian blinds rolled up. I could see clearly through the window, and what a sight it was. She peeled off her blouse, slid her slacks and panties to the floor and stepped out of them. In my excitement I crept closer to get a better look. She unsnapped her bra, still facing the window. I watched as she walked around a little and I got a clearer look. Her breasts were large and pendulous, her stomach a little rounded, and her thighs were creamy and full. That sight gave me a catch in my breath. Then I began to notice something a little different about her, and I realized she was blind. She had to grope her way around the room. I was sure she lived alone; no one else seemed to be in the house, except for a seeing-eye dog that sat quietly in the corner. Then she walked toward the window, right where I stood and lowered the Venetian blinds. I just gaped at her cleft with its luxuriant dark hair, what a beautiful sight. She felt around for the cords and let the blinds down real slow.

Something came over me and wiped out my common sense. I started to hatch a scheme. I figured she’s blind so she could never identify me. If I was real careful and planned it well, I could have it all. I could act out all my fantasies and there was not a chance of getting caught.

I resisted my impulse to take care of my needs myself when I got home. I decided to save it for my big day. I imagined her nude in my day-dreams; when I saw her for those few minutes I had become captivated. I began to case the streets around her house in my car to plan a quick escape route. I watched her daily routine. I noted when she walked her dog, when a friend ran her errands, how far she walked and, most of all, that she was alone for most of the day.

At last, I worked up the courage to put my idea into action. As I drove around one day, I spotted her walking outside her house. My heart pounded like a snare drum. I parked some blocks away and began a casual stroll toward her block. In the daytime the street was deserted, most of her neighbors went to work. I approached her as she followed the dog along the curb. She wore a short jacket, toreador pants and sneakers. With a cane to help her feel the way and that huge German shepherd to guide her, she strolled along. I sauntered down the sidewalk until I got close to her.

“Beautiful dog, ma’am.”

“Yes, he is. His name is Blazer. He’s my eyes and ears.”

She laughed at her own little joke. She was so relaxed that I thought that to gain her confidence would be easy.

“Are you from around here?” she asked

“Sure, I live just a few blocks away.”

“Just out for a stroll?”

“Well yeah, I guess, sort of.”

“I thought I heard someone coming toward me, Blazer told me when he tugged at his collar handle. “What’s your name? If you don’t mind my asking.”

I thought fast. “Bill...Bill Williams. What’s yours?”

“My name’s Linda.

“Nice to meet you, Linda.” I groped for small talk. “Actually, I’m a dog lover myself,” I lied. “Yeah, used to own dogs back in the day, don’t have time now; they take a lot of care.”

“Yes, they do. Blazer, here is a very smart dog. Aren’t you, fella?” She made a small gesture with the dog’s handle and he sat right there. I noticed he never took his eyes from my face. I would have to deal with him when the time came.

“Do you walk this way often?” I asked. What a lame question. I tried to stall to come up with a plan to get into the house without causing a commotion.

“Why, yes I do Bill. May I call you Bill?” She had such a pleasant, cultured way of speaking. I was so far gone in my own fantasy that I thought I would enjoy debasing her even more now. I could stifle her screams, and watch the terror on her face. But what to do about the dog? That hound was a monster even for a shepherd. His fangs looked about an inch long when he yawned and ran his tongue over his chops. I thought I had an idea; but first I needed to get into the house.

“Sure, Bill’s fine," I said. "Do you get out much?” another lame question.

She answered with sincerity, “No, not really. The neighbors drive me when I need to go somewhere, or run errands for me, they’re very kind.”

“Sure sounds like it.” Then she must have heard me take a step toward the dog.

“Don’t pet Blazer. He’s trained to resist anyone’s touch but mine.”

I wouldn’t dream of it, but I said, “No, I just wanted to get a closer look; he’s such a beautiful animal.”

I really just wanted to get a closer look at her. Her toreador pants were a size too small and the seam outlined her sex, I’m sure she didn’t realize it. I remembered what she looked like without clothes. I felt my chest tighten, I began to salivate and my mind raced. I asked myself how I was going to pull this off because I needed to do it right then; I couldn’t contain my lust any further.

Then she said something that floored me, “If you’re alone, would you like to join me for a cup of coffee? It wouldn’t take but a minute to walk to my house.”

I could hardly believe my luck; she was so trusting, to invite a total stranger into her house, just like that, with hardly any conversation.

“But you must be very busy,” she said.

“Well, no, not right now.”

“I’m just a few doors down, right over here.”

“It must be difficult to be alone and have to do all that for yourself…I mean…”

She interrupted me, “Yes, I am alone, but I’ve learned to do for myself. Coffee won’t take but a moment; I make it all the time.”

We went into the house and I sat at the kitchen table. I watched her move around with touch. She knew right where everything was kept. I couldn’t keep from shaking with excitement, and I looked forward to my enjoyment. She would be frightened and do everything I wanted. I eyed the dog that sat without movement and glared at me with his amber eyes.

“Would you like some coffee cake, too?” she asked.

“No, thanks, just coffee’s fine.”

I watched her pour from a pot with a spout so she wouldn’t miss getting it into the cups, her every movement was planned. I tried to think of a way to get her into the bedroom, stifle her outcry, and slam the door. That damned dog could stay outside and I’d make my escape through the window when I had my enjoyment. I began to day-dream again about seeing her naked.

She brought the cups to the table one at a time and sat on a chair opposite me at the corner of the table. She edged closer until our knees touched. It seemed like being lonely, she had desires, too. Her willingness might spoil my fun a little, but I imagined I could make her do things she didn’t like.

She reached over and touched my face. Her fingers were soft, cool and sensitive. “I see with my sense of touch,” she said as she stroked my face. “All my other senses are heightened as well, hearing, smell, sometimes I think I have a sixth sense about people, too. You have regular features, Bill, you still have all your hair, and you need a shave.”

Her face pointed off in a direction just over my shoulder, I noticed she had a small bow-shaped mouth, with this mysterious sort of smile. Now that she had come closer I saw a gadget hanging on a chain around her neck. It looked like some sort of electronic thing with buttons.

“Your nose is straight and well-shaped,” she said as she brushed her finger tips over my face like she was reading Braille. She cupped my chin and ran her thumb across my mouth. “You have nice full, lips, too.”

I glanced over at Blazer; he bared his fangs at me, but stayed where he was. Then she moved down my shirt, “Let me guess, that’s a plaid work shirt, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” I answered

She slid her hands down over my belt buckle to my crotch. That made me jump a little in surprise as she found the zipper and began to tug at it. I slid a little forward in the chair and the zipper came undone. I had never been so excited and I thought about everything I wanted to do, but I just let her go ahead. I waited to see what happened next. She fished around and freed up my erection.

“That’s nice, Bill, somewhat ordinary in size, but nice, nonetheless.”

Her delicate hand wrapped around me and she began to stroke me; she was oh so gentle. I just closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling. I was a little uneasy that she was taking control but I knew I could come back for seconds and take the rest by force. It would feel like much more fun that way. I lost my focus; I didn’t want her to stop. She spoke to me, her voice hypnotic.

“You like this, Bill?”

“Oh, yeah,” I moaned.

“It’s nice isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah Linda.”

“Blazer is watching us, isn’t he, Bill?”

My eyes were closed tight, “Yeah, I guess so.” I could feel myself getting close to orgasm. I had never had a hand-job like this. I reached over, my eyes still closed, felt her breasts, her nipples were getting hard and she didn’t pull away. I had so much fun.

“Did you know that Blazer is specially trained? He responds to secret coded commands. Special words only I and he know. You know, just in case of trouble.”

Blazer was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to get my rocks off. I wondered how she learned to do this.

“Did you notice the device around my neck, Bill?”

All I could say was “ungh, ungh.” It sounded so stupid, now I think about it. Just then words wouldn’t come to me.

“It has three buttons. One is for an ambulance…”

What did I care about an ambulance? I should have paid closer attention. I spurted on the front of my pants. I felt like my heart would explode, I sat there stunned and shaking.

“The next one is for…”

Then she shouted, “Fire engine!”

Before I could even open my eyes, Blazer hit me with his front paws like a freight train. His bark deafened me. Snarling, with his huge teeth an inch from my face, the impact of his charge drove the chair with me in it back against the wall.

“I meant to mention, the third button is police. Blazer will attend to you until they arrive. They shouldn’t be more than a minute or two. ‘Fire Engine’ is Blazer’s code, by the way. He remembers you from a few nights ago. Don’t you, Blazer? That was you outside my window, wasn’t it? Blazer told me. He has a very keen sense of when someone is near the house, and he’s very protective, aren’t you, boy?”

The dog’s breath stank like a sewer and his bared teeth dripped with saliva. I have never been so frightened. “Oh, damn lady, I didn’t mean any harm. Get the dog down before he tears my throat out.”

“Wait, Blazer. That’s his other command. He’ll just stay that way until the police arrive.”

The police, oh man, and me on probation; I hadn’t done a thing to this lady. She invited me in and gave me a free hand job without me even asking. Why did she need to call the police? Here I am sitting with my pants open, and this vicious mutt on my chest ready to rip out my Adam’s apple. How would I explain this to my probation officer?

“The neighbors mentioned that they had heard someone running around in their back yards in the dark. Then Blazer told me there was someone outside my window a few nights ago. And here you come today to strike up an inane conversation. But, Blazer gave me the same signal as he did when you were at the window. Blazer and I understand each other very well after all these years.”

“Lady, I haven’t done anything to you. You asked me in here.”

“I don’t think you’ll be running around in backyards for a while. You seem to be a man with a secret. Do you have a secret, Bill? You’ve done this sort of thing for a long time haven’t you? Now you’re getting bolder. You are a danger to the community Bill; if that’s your real name.”

Loud raps sounded at the front door. I heard a voice, “Police! Open up in there.”

She took her cane and began tap-tapping to the door. “I’m coming,” she said.

Two enormous cops came into the kitchen. “He’s right in there, Officers.”

It was the same two cops that had arrested me before. “Well, look at you, what did I tell you the last time?” one of them asked.

The dog from hell still had me pinned in the chair, jammed against the wall.

“You got here just in time, Officers.” That hypnotic voice. “I don’t know what he might have done. Down, Blazer.”

The dog gave me one more menacing growl and dropped his paws to the floor. She took his collar-handle and pulled him back.

One cop said, “On your feet, hands behind your back. You’re under arrest.”

I gestured toward my fly. “Yeah put that puny thing away, first,” one of them said. Then he pointed to the front of my jeans. “Look at this disgusting jerk, Harry.”

“Yeah, I see it,” the second cop replied. “Look at that mess on his pants. You make me sick, you scrawny little puke.”

They snapped the handcuffs on my wrists and went through my pockets.

They reached in and pulled out a length of silk rope and a pack of condoms and showed them to me.

“What were you going to do with this, you little punk?”

“It’s no crime to carry rope in your pocket, or condoms, and besides, she invited me in here, and she—”

The cop interrupted me, “Yeah right, but burglary is a crime.” He turned to Linda. “How did he get in here, ma’am?”

Linda put on her best, smooth convincing voice, “Oh, I was so foolish. I forgot to lock the front door behind me. He must have followed me in.”

In a blind panic by then, I protested, “I didn’t follow her, she invited me in.”

Then I realized how stupid I sounded.

“Any more guff out of you and I knock all your teeth down your throat. Save your idiotic explanations for the judge,” one of them said.

“Wait officer, she asked me in for coffee,” I said. My voice broke with anxiety. Then I looked at the kitchen table, she had cleared away the cups and put them in the sink.

“Was he abusing himself in here, Officer?” she asked.

The first cop answered, “Yeah he was, he’s got…well, stuff on the front of his jeans,”

“I thought so.”

“Did he touch you at all ma’am?”

“Yes he did, he fondled my breast. Oh my, to think how close I came. How awful, but thanks to Blazer here and your coming so quickly, nothing happened to me.”

“We’ll take his pants for evidence,” one of the cops sneered.

The other one said, “Yeah, he can exchange them for an orange jump suit down at the County.”

I asked one last feeble question. “Why burglary? I haven’t done anything.”

The taller cop recited chapter and verse: “Unlawfully entering an occupied dwelling with the intent to commit a crime therein is first degree burglary, and sexual abuse is a crime; and a blind woman, too. You’re lower than vermin, you know that?”

I heard her voice call after them as they led me trembling and wobbly-kneed to their radio car, “Thank you so much, Officers. You got here just in time.”